🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

"I know everyone..." was on Bill's resume. Was on Bill's resume when he applied for his new job. His manager, Dave, impressed by everything else made a comment. Dave: "Surely, you dont know EVERYONE." Bill retorts: " I do infact know everyone." Dave asks smugly: "Even the President of the U.S.?" Bill nonchalantly pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts seemingly forever and pushes the call button and then puts the phone on speaker. Bill: 'Hey, Mr. President, you there bud?" President: "BILL! Whats going on man, its been FOREVER!" Bill: "Going great, im gonna have to cut you off, my manager would like to talk to you." Dave is stunned, he just couldnt believe the President was on the phone with Bill of all people. Dave: Mr. President do you know Bill? President: Hell Yeah, we go way back! He and I use to go golfing all the time before hit started to look for work outside of D.C. Dave: Thank you for your time! President: Thank you and both of you have a good day! Bill: Bye! The phone call ends, but Dave is still not sure that Bill knows EVERYONE. Dave: All right, that was just coincedence, surely you dont know EVERYONE. Bill: Sure I do, I even know The Pope. Dave: THE POPE?! Surely you are joking, I believe the President but surely not The Pope. Bill again pulls out his phone and starts to open up a browser. Dave: What are you doing? Bill: I still have enough money to buy two plane tickets for the you and me. Dave: Where are we going, just call The Pope if you know him. Bill: I cant he doesnt have a phone so the best way is to fly to him. Dave: If you say so. So the both get into Bill's car and drive to the airport. People along the way are waving at Bill. But as time goes on Bill and Dave are close to missing their plane. Bill makes a call and beofre they know it, a police escort gets them to the airport with time to get to their plane. At the airport Bill talks and jokes around with the TSA who gets them checked first. As they go to get their tickets Bill talk to the clerk and gets some "spare" tickets for first class. Dave is just sitting back, lost for words for the events that just keep transpiring one after another. The plane takes off and Dave takes some pills and sleeps for the entire flight. As they land everyone lets Bill and Dave off and a limousine awaits them outside and takes them to the Vatican. They finally arrive in the Vatican Plaza. Dave is almost as white as a ghost. Dave: So, where is he? Dave is gasping for air at this point. Bill: Are you sure you're alright? Dave: Im fine, just prove this already! Bill: Alright, stay here Ill get The Pope. Bill disappears into the crowd and gets past security into The Vatican. He meets up with the Pope and they walk out onto the balcony and see an ambulance arrive in the crowd near where Dave was. Bill rushes out of the Vatican into the plaza and the ambulance drives off. He asks someone what had happened. Bill: Excuse what happened? Stranger: The guy right next to me had a heart attack and was screaming bloody murder. His words were too scrambled to understand. Bill: What happened before the heart attack that may have caused it? Stranger: I asked him who was that guy up there up on the balcony with Bill?