🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

Hotel Mexico Once there lived a man. This man was so unextraordinary in every way possible that we are just going to call him John Smith. John was married to woman that I cannot describe as attractive because she was quite physically bland. John knew this was a mutual quality they shared, so he was content in his marriage. Every morning, John woke to a breakfast prepared by his wife that consisted of a slightly burnt piece of toast, reasonably runny eggs, and black coffee. He would then eat and say goodbye to his wife, who would only kiss his check because their relationship was just a tad bit to dry for kiss on the lips. All the while, John thought nothing of his bland life while climbing into his always empty minivan because he truly felt nothing. Once at his office, where John work in a very disposable sales position, he was called to speak to his boss. John believed he would be fired, but he didn't really care. He sat down across his boss in the man's gloomy, dark office. His boss said, "John we need to branch out this business, so I am sending some of the sales team abroad to find some extra clients. Don't get excited because this isn't a promotion." John wasn't even approaching excitement. "How would you like to go to Mexico?" said John's boss with an unsure grin. "I suppose" replied John. "Okay then" said the boss, "go speak with my secretary, and she will give you your ticket" John walked toward the door,but was paused by one last statement from his boss. "Oh... John... whatever you do, do not stay in the Hotel Mexico." Puzzled, John asked, "Why?" His boss fell very silent, and quietly yet sternly responded with, "Just don't." Once back home, John shared the news of the trip with his wife over dinner, who despite seeming unimpressed said, "Oh that will be fun dear." The two finished dinner in silence and retreated to the bedroom at 9:30 where John was only able to fantasize of seducing his wife, for she always insisted only sleeping at least five inches apart. The next morning, when John was about to leave for the airport, he was stopped by his wife he seemed more concerned than usual. She grabbed his arm and urged, "Promise me one thing... do not stay n the Hotel Mexico." What do you mean, what is it?" John replied extremely confused and almost worried." "No time to explain, you'll miss your flight" his wife said, brushing her comment aside. Before he could process what she said, John was brushed out the door by his wife just as quickly as her comment. The trip was very uneventful for John except for the inflight movie. Before the film began an advertisement was shown displaying the Hotel Mexico. The ad depicted the hotel as 'five stars' and a luxury of Mexico. John realized his wife and boss were most likely telling him not to spend too much money. Content with this conclusion, John turned off the TV and sleep the remainder of the flight. Once in Mexico, John needed to find a Hotel. The first hotel he came to was a rent by the hour. John walked in to check the rates, but was immediately repelled at sight on two hookers and either arm of a pimp and drunk snorting a line of cocaine at the bar. "That's Mexico for you." John thought as he went on to the next hotel, which just so happened to be the apparently notorious Hotel Mexico. Thinking it wouldn't hurt to at least take a look inside, John entered the Hotel Mexico. John was bewildered for he had never seen such a beautiful sight as the lobby of the Hotel Mexico. Floor to ceiling, he witness the golden architecture and awe inspiring statues. John went over to the reception desk and looked at the rates. To his even greater astonishment, John found the rates to be only$27 a night. John thought it was too good to be true, and just as he was about to rent a room he remembered the words of his boss and wife. John then turned around and left the hotel on behalf of those wishes. As John walked to the next hotel he was very confused to why his boss and wife did not want him staying in the Hotel Mexico. Once at the next hotel, which seemed to be fairly nice and something he would normally settle for. Inside, John found that the rates exceed $300 a night. Now at his most confused, John stormed out of the hotel and on to the next. For the next several hours John searched for a hotel, but could only find extreme prices or drugged addicted whores. Fed up and tired, John decided to return to the Hotel Mexico. John purchased a room and went to it. Due to the low price, John was expecting a small dank room, but was surprised with a first class suite. Exhausted, John jumped into bed thinking his wife was insane. John woke the next morning and felt more refreshed than ever. He then went to his sales meeting, which he landed. It was then time to return home. John went back to the Hotel Mexico to pack his things. John said goodbye to the beautiful palace, the Hotel Mexico, and headed for the airport. Once home, it was time for John to immediately go straight to the office. First thing there, John was called into his bosses office. John's boss asked how the trip was and John replied with, "I made the sale. Also I stayed at the Hotel Mexico, I don't know what you were talking that place is grea..." " You did what?!" John's boss replied in anger. "What?" John asked. John's boss suddenly blew up in complete rage. " WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING! YOU DID THE ONE FUCKING THING I TOLD YOU NOT TO, YOU ILLITERATE FUCK! PACK YOUR FUCKING THINGS AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU'RE FIRED YOU STUPID PIECE OFF SHIT!" John was in such shock that he did not argue. He packed his things and left. At home, John's wife greeted him by asking how the trip was. John just said, "I got fired." Showing true concern his wife asked why. John hesitated and told her not to get mad. "You didn't." she replied with fear. "I stayed at the Hotel Mexico" John whispered. Without another word John's wife slapped him across the face marched upstairs and began throwing his belongings out the window. "What the hell are you doing!" he shouted. "What's so wrong with the goddamn Hotel Mexico!" "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE HOTEL MEXICO!" she violently mocked. "JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU ASSHOLE." Heart shattered, John did as he was asked, and once again packed his things and left. John only had one place to go, so he went to stay with his brother Nathan, who lived on a lake. Fishing was past time of their brotherhood, so Nathan took John out on the canoe to talk about John's wife. For a while the sat in silence, until Nathan asked, "What happened? Did you screw that girl at work, man?" "Fuck no" John fought back. "I'll tell you. I don't know why you would, but please don't get mad Nathan, you're all I got." "I won't bud." Nathan promised his younger brother. Nervously, John said, "Well... here goes nothing... I... I went to Mexico for a business trip, and... I... stayed at the Hotel Mexico." "YOU DID WHAT!" screamed Nathan. At that moment Nathan stood up in the canoe ready to scream at John more, but before he could breath another word, Nathan shook the canoe too much, and flipped it. The two brothers drowned that day at the lake. You're probably asking yourself why the hell you just read all of that, and if you did make it all the way through that I'm impressed. And now for the answer to the ultimate question! What is the moral of the story? | | | | Don't stay at the Hotel Mexico? Nope that's not it. | | Keep going. | | | | | | | | | | The moral of the story of the Hotel Mexico is.... don't stand up in a canoe. Remember, this story might just save your life one day. You're welcome And I have no sympathy for you, if you are angry for just waiting all of your time reading this, for you didn't have to sit through the three hour long spoken version.