🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

The Longest Joke, once again. In occasional fits of self-evaluation, John used to take pride in living a very boring life. That, to him back then, was a good thing -- after all, the Chinese wish interesting lives on others as a curse. A boring life meant that everything proceeded the way that he liked. No accidents, no oddities, no distractions. No fun, but that's the cost of safety and security. As a child, John never got in a serious accident as a child (except for that time he fell off slide the wrong way, but he landed on a soft spot so that doesn't count). His adolescence was pretty temperate. He even managed not to embarrass himself scarringly in public. After that, he went to a state college, from which he graduated after four years. Then, he got a job offer from a pretty standard company where Dilbert was popular. If this went on for longer, he would have found a lovely (but not -too- lovely) lady to marry and then die surrounded by grandchildren. One day, though, John felt like going to the desert. The idea just struck him on a rather unspecific Friday. On the way to work, John thought to himself, "After work, I should get an SUV so I can go off-roading." At work, John thought about the dunes and the winds. On the way from work, John thought about how he has never seen a real desert before. That was very frustrating, so it made buying the most desert-like SUV he could find on a whim easier. John woke up early the next morning. He had a light meal of cereal and strawberries for breakfast. Then he hopped on his new SUV and drove east. Just... east. The highway should take him to a desert in the east, John thought. He fiddled with the audio system a little and tried to find a radio station to listen to. But, no -- the music only distracted him from the excitement he was fermenting in right now. This was an emotion of rare intensity (considering how plaid his life has been), so logically he should savor it to the fullest. With the sun at its zenith, John began to notice the dunes in the distance and the clear, blue sky above them. All inhibition was gone -- he pressed on the gas pedal and the SUV ran at very slightly above the speed limit. He just... had to get there, and feel his car wade through the sand and rocks. There must be so many sights in the wastes to see. He might even run across a saguaro. Ah, damn, he should have brought a camera and someone to take a picture of him next to the tallest saguaro he could find. And before John even realized it himself, he was off the road for the first time. He had a blast. The desert was so different from the city or the beach. Everything felt pure and rarefied there, as if all the dross had been burnt away by the sun's heat. Speaking of which, the sun was blazing hot. Even with the AC at full power, John could feel the desert heat, and the tan that the sun through the window was giving. Anyways, it was probably the first time John went "crazy". The sensation of losing control just by a little bit overwhelmed him. The rough terrain rocked him uncomfortably, but he far preferred it to the certain comfort of the office chair. Every once in a he worried if the SUV was going to flip -- but then, it didn't. It gave him a jolt like nothing else. He has never done any hard drugs before, but it must be nothing like off-roading in the desert. Exploring virgin, untrodden sand felt like a series of small conquests. Venturing where no man has gone before, freely going wherever he wan---- And then, a blink and a beep. Out of gas. ... With a plastic bottle in each hand, John waded through the sand trying to swallow him whole. It was so hard to maintain balance, with the ground shifting and sinking with each footstep. The scorching evening sun didn't help, either. The desert sun at noon must have been more painful, but at least it didn't get in your eye. John had been following the sun for a few hours now. At first, he tried to backtrack, but the tracks had already been erased by the desert wind. "The desert is to the east," John thought, "so I should go west." John had already drunk half the bottle of water by the time the sun set. This was pretty bad, because when he got out of the car he expected for the bottle to last at least until tomorrow late afternoon. "It will be even hotter at noon tomorrow," John thought to himself again. "I'm fucked." The night cold of the desert gave such a hateful contrast to the day heat. He had heard that it's cold at night in deserts, but John didn't think it would be -this- cold. He was freezing, for God's sake. And it's so arid. John hugged himself even tighter to keep himself warm, next to the tallest saguaro he has ever seen. He thought about getting into the sand to protect himself from the cold, but then sand would get in all of his clothes and he would be annoyed to death tomorrow. He also thought about crying, but he fell unconscious before he could make the decision. The next morning, John once again considered crying, because he must have lost the good bottle over the night. Either the wind took it or it sank into the sand somewhere. Maybe the devil took it, he doesn't know. John looked at the only bottle he has left now -- the bottle with pale blue liquid in it. He has heard that they use water and denatured ethanol in windshield washer fluids and, while it would burn, it would at least quench the thirst. It will probably taste like the worst thing ever, but that's preferable to being mummified alive. The sun was at its zenith when John worked up the courage to try drinking the windshield washer. He kept seeing an oasis in a distance, but it kept running away -- so he concluded that he has begun hallucinating from the heat and the thirst. Might as well try this out anyway, and... Jesus Christ, it tasted like murder. The fluid stabbed at John's dry throat and burned it, like vodka distilled from hate. The pain faded away after a few seconds. Thankfully, his throat wasn't as dry anymore. John resumed to soldier forth. ... Why did he listen to the horse? He should have walked -away- from the morning sun, because the sun rises from the east. Thanks to the stupid animal, John was walking the wrong way for half a day. But most importantly -- where did this horse come from? ... The sun was setting. John had trouble understanding his own gibberish anymore. It also might have been getting dark faster than is usual for summer, because everything was so hard to see. He drank the last gulp of the windwasher fluid and tossed the bottle away (John would usually not litter). Then he collapsed onto his knees, sinking a little bit into the dune. It's so hard to walk anymore, but crawling was really easy. John fondly regarded his childhood. As the sand cooked his hands and legs, John's life began to play out in his hazy mind like a VHS tape that's been too close to a magnet. "Life was pretty boring, wasn't it?," John's brain stringed together some words. "Getting into a fight once might have been fun." All the things he couldn't do, all the regret came in like a tsunami and swept away all hopes for escape. He decided to cry, but he couldn't. He tried wailing, but only dry gasp came out of his throat. John became afraid of death, but then he felt the cold marble floor beneath him. "You look like death," a voice said. John looked up, but he could only see black and red spots against a field of dark brown felt. "You should find help before the cold kills you." Even in his delirium, John could tell that this must not be real. For one, the voice was too beautiful. Had angels been real, the voice must have belonged to one. But no matter, he just didn't want to die. "I don't want to die." "Is that a wish?" the voice replied, now with a tone of definite curiosity. "I mean, I can help you with that if you so wish. But you have to pay a price. With this contract you mus--" "Just help me." "Okay, we have a deal," said the voice. And then John felt a pair of fangs spear into his throat. ... There were so many stars in the night sky. One usually thinks that night is dark, but with so many stars, the night sky was actually bright. Lying with his back against the marble floor (surprisingly comfortable, actually), John tried to trace as many constellations as he could from memory for a few minutes. "Are you feeling better now?," a sort-of familiar voice was heard from outside the vision, with concern. "I broke a few rules, but, you know, I just didn't want to deal with someone dying right in front of me." John bolted up to see what the fuck just happened right there. He surprised himself -- it was so easy. Not compared to how he was near death, but to how he usually is. Not only that, he felt wonderful. He turned around to see a snake with red eyes. A very large snake with burning red eyes. It took a few seconds for John to assess the situation. And then he said -- "Thank you... for saving my life." The snake slithered across the air to get close to John, its tongue feeling the air to smell how he was now. "No need to thank me, it's all a part of work. Anyways, are you feeling better now?" "Yeah. Better than ever, actually." John tried to figure out exactly what made him feel better. Whatever happened, he now felt more... vigorous, energetic and... unburdened? As if a life-long chain has been lifted. "What did you do?" "Oh, you know. Granted a wish and all that." John could have sworn that the snake grinned widely. "When you came here, you were dying from methanol poisoning. So I detox'd you. You were also very thirsty, so I took care of that. But most importantly, there was a small cancer growing in your liver." The snake uncoiled itself from a... stick, that emerged from at the center of a very ornately engraved circular white marble floor. As it slithered around the perimeter, the spilt sand was swept away. Apparently it was cleaning the floor. It also showed that the snake must have been at least fifteen yards in length. "Though, to clarify: you asked for not to die, but that wish is against the rules. So... I gave it a liberal interpretation. So you will not die -for a while-. I made you very healthy, so you probably won't have trouble living to be 120 years old." The snake nodded its head. "As long as you don't get yourself killed, you know. It seems like you do stuff like this often." John shook his head in denial. "No, this is my first time. And... rules?," he questioned. "Are you some kind of a genie? Or are you the Devil?" The snake made some kind of sound that probably equated to snakes laughing. "Oh, it never gets old. No, I'm not a genie and I'm not the Devil. I'm just a fallen angel." It coiled itself against the stick and looked right into John's eyes. The fiery eyes flared like twin suns and rays of starlight descended from the sky to shine in the shape of ephemeral wings on the back. The voice, it suffocated the sound of desert silence and quaked the very space itself. "I am Nathaniel, the seraph." "I am John," the mortal introduced himself. "...the office drone." The fires died out, the lights turned to normal and the rolling sound of silence returned. "So, yeah. No need to be scared or anything," Nathaniel seemed to grin as he spoke. "I'm just... here doing my job. Speaking of which." The angel cleared his throat before elaborating on the "rules": "Ok, God sent me here to hire someone for a task. It's a very important and difficult job, so the compensation for it is pretty good. Those who accept the job are given three wishes. These wishes can be anything, as long as you really, actually and truly want it and as long as it doesn't trespass God's authority. And, no, I'm not one of those asshole spirits that twist the wishes or give them literally. God's the one doing the work, so I don't need to be stringent or anything. Your first wish has been fulfilled. You have two wishes left. Be very careful and deliberate for those two, because they have to compensate for the duty you've been given." "What's my duty?" John asked, dumbstruck and unable to believe. Nathaniel looked away a little, as if he felt uncomfortable breaking the news. "Well, ok. John. I'll put this very simply this time. Your duty is to end the world." Awkward silence followed. Nathaniel seemed to brace for an inevitable tirade. John, to the contrary, was at complete loss for words. The mortal occasionally opened his mouth to say something, perhaps in protest or in confusion, but then he closed it again. He would try again when he felt he had processed the situation sufficiently, but no -- he was wrong. At least for a few minutes. And, eventually. "So... My job is to end the world." "Yes." "Why? And how? And when?" "Well, ok. It's kinda convoluted. And you are handling this very maturely right now, by the way." Nathaniel coughed softly before continuing. "As for why... Hm. Imagine that you are making a perpetual motion machine. Once you get it going, it keeps going. Maybe it goes faster and faster if you are good enough at making machines, I don't know. Anyways, when it goes too fast, it's dangerous to stop it from outside. It would hurt if your finger got jammed between the gears, right? So... God made a self-termination switch." Nathaniel unwound himself from the stick. "This right here is the switch. God put it here so someone can stop the world from the inside if it becomes necessary. "And now, as for how... It's simple. You -- and only you -- can move this staff. If you push it, pull it, or in any other way disturb it, everything dies. Nothing gets left behind. Nada. Nil. Zilch. Once you do it, it's done." Nathaniel gestured his tail across his throat. "It's really easy, but it's total and it's irreversible. That's why it's so hard." John listened attentively, though he took it only three-quarters-seriously. After all, a talking snake? "Hm. Ok, last question. When... is up to you." Had Nathaniel been human, a look of doubt and fear would have come across his face. Sadly, he was still a snake. "It's your job to determine when the world will end. Now that you have been chosen, I can't stop you from deciding when. Even if you try to pull the plug on the world because you got dumped by your girl... well, they say 'significant other' now, don't they? Well, by your significant other, I'm not allowed to stop you in any way or spirit. But I can ask you to be very deliberate. Please, please be very deliberate." The snake gazed at the human intently. "There is so much to this world that I haven't seen yet and I would like to learn more about it before it ends." Nathaniel stopped to speak for a short while. Assuming that he has finished explaining, John brought his right hand to his chin to help him consider the situation. It all was very confusing. Before this day, John didn't believe in God. And, if anything, he wasn't believing in God more at this point. Why would God do this sort of thing? It's all very absurd. But, from the deep of his soul, John could feel that he was given a very, very serious duty. "Why was I chosen?" "You... uh... found me." Nathaniel shifted his focus away from John, as if he was taken by a sense of inadequacy. "Long before I had criteria for selecting people for this job, but they were all lousy at it. After a while, I decided to not have any at all." The snake sighed. "I think it's been working out greatly. Somehow random people are more emotionally stable than prophesied legendary heroes." "What if I don't want to do it?" "It's too late." "Can I wish not to have to do this?" Nathaniel sighed. "No, that's infringing on God's authority, so it's against the rules. You -have- to do it, John. And I'm pretty sure you will be good at it." "How do you know that?" John accused the angel of empty words of comfort. "I have been talking to you for a good while now, haven't I?" The snake's facial muscles did their best to smile. "After a few billion years, you learn how to read people." It seemed that John wanted to argue with that, but only silence followed for a moment. "This is a stupid job." "It pays well." ... On the circle, the night air felt cool rather than cold. Waiting for dawn's light, John watched the stars trace the globe of the sky once he ran out of things to ask Nathaniel about. Well, he was curious if he was actually an angel and, if he was, what it is like to be an angel. But that all felt improper. John found the morning star when the skirt of the sky began to grow yellow, pink and red. In minutes, it would be bright again. He would have to find a way to get back home from here. Perhaps continuing going west is the best course of action-- "If you walk south from here for about three hours, you will find a highway. Go eastbound and there will be a small town. If you tell them that you got lost while off-roading, they will help you out," Nathaniel interrupted John's train of thought. "And you must be hungry, right? Here, have something to eat before you head out." A plate consisting of a loaf of bread, a chunk of cheese and a mug of wine sat on the marble floor. "Thanks, but where did you get this?" "Heaven." ... John dusted his pants one more time. As he stepped outside the border of the marble circle, he could feel the sun grow a thousand times more fierce. "Uh, hey, Nate," John said hesitantly. "Do you mind if I come back later for the other two wishes? I can't think of anything good right now." "Call me Nathaniel. And it's ok, that's what most people do when they don't feel like asking for money." "People seriously ask for money?" John asked in surprise at the banality. "Well, I know what you mean. I think it's odd when people ask for money over... true love, or peace, or anything like that. I asked a few why." "What did they say?" "'You are too young to understand'. Which is kind of funny, because, you know, billions of years old," the snake seemed to smirk. "But they probably meant that I'm not close enough to death to understand." John seemed clearly unsatisfied at the answer or the extrapolation. "I still don't get it. It'd be nice to understand what they meant. Perhaps I'll ask for that when I come back later. To understand what other people are saying." Nathaniel's tongue licked the air a few times. "That would be interesting. I don't think anyone has asked for that before. Do you want that wish granted now?" John hesitated for a moment. "Nah. I need a reason to come back here for." With that, John smiled brightly at Nathaniel, and walked south. ... After that weekend, John's life seemed to return to normal. The snake stopped appearing in his dreams after a week or so and he eventually forgot that he doesn't need health check-ups anymore in three months' time. It was boring again. Very stable, but boring. A year since meeting Nathaniel, John got mugged. "Give me all you got, bitch, or I'll blow up your head," the barrel of the gun said. John reached for his back pocket and produced an old, light brown wallet. Calmly, he handed it to the mugger, wondering: "Why do you want this?" The barrel dropped. The dumbfounded face behind it asked if John was fucking serious. After that encounter, John remembered that wish he wanted granted. ... This time, John drew a map. He learned from the Internet how to prepare for desert exploration. Over a period of a month, he gathered the tools and gears needed to save him the pain. Learning how to locate himself using the stars would have been useful, but that's too much work; he'll just bet on his luck on that. With a rental SUV, he drove his way to the small village to the southeast and, from there, carefully trekked up north with a pair of binoculars. He started his search in the morning and found Nathaniel by mid-afternoon. "What's up?" the angel asked. "I got mugged," John answered. "Ah, damn. Did you get hurt?" A tone of worry and concern colored Nathaniel's voice. "No, but it helped me remember something." John spoke very evenly. Perhaps he wanted to come off unconcerned? "Nearly dying once?" "Huh." John amusedly reviewed the situation, now and back then. "Maybe. I should hire a psychoanalyst." "Freudians are a bunch of quacks. And they are very expensive," dismissed Nathaniel. John replied with a smile. "It's fun, though." The conversation broke for about ten seconds; a period during which desert gust blew across the landscape. "Hey, Nate." "Call me Nathaniel. And time to pull the plug?" The angel put on a very as-a-matter-of-factly attitude. "Um." John put his right hand on his chin to help him consider the proposition, but: "No, not today." Nathaniel breathed a sigh of relief. "I actually came back for my second wish." "I would have preferred if you came for friendship." It broke for another time; during this period, a desert creature cried out in the far back. "You think of me as a friend?" John asked with honest awe. "Anybody's your friend when your neighbors are rocks and cacti." The snake clicked his tongue. "I don't have that many people to talk to, being bound here and all." "Really? You can't leave?" "Well." Nathaniel hesitated. "I can leave... I think. Well, probably not. Anyways, if I do I might not see you come here and pull the lever. Then I won't be able to plug my ears." "I thought everyone just... died. Nothing loud." "Well, everyone just dies, yeah. In very big explosions." "You can't plug your ears. You don't have arms." "I can try." The sound of sands rolling down the dunes punctuated the conversation. "I want you to grant me my second wish." John demanded. Excited to find out what John has in mind, Nathaniel eagerly questioned. "Oh? What will it be this time?" "I want to be able to understand people." The snake paused for a second, perhaps to discern whether it would be a good wish for John or not. In the end, he said: "That is a very difficult wish to live with, you know that?" "I figured so." "Well, no regrets." Nathaniel bit John. ... When John woke up, the sun was setting. Stars could be faintly seen through the still-pale blue sky, and a pregnant moon was floating about as well. A shooting star burnt through the atmosphere, leaving a short trail, far away from John's focus when a curious voice was heard. "Are you feeling better now?" "Um. Yeah." John reoriented himself. "Thanks, Nate." "Call me Nathaniel." "Now that I think about it, do I annoy you when I call you Nate?" John asked the angel, with sincerity. "Well," Nathaniel considered the question. "A little?" "But that's how a friend would call you. Nathaniel is a mouthful." "Agreed on that. But, you know." The angel paused for a second. "What is it?" Nathaniel slowly uncoiled himself from the switch and slithered toward the perimeter, dutifully. "God gave me this name." The sound of Nathaniel's scales against the marble floor and the sand grains on it filled the air. "I think I can understand that." John admitted. "I still don't believe in God, but I think I can understand that." The snake giggled. "Is that because you learned how to understand me?" "No. Actually, no, I don't think so." John gripped his chin. "At least, this isn't what I asked for." Nathaniel laughed. ... John didn't bother sitting up that night. He just laid comfortably on his back and watched the stars, while chatting with Nathaniel about, in sum, everything about the world. "Hey, you said you can't leave the circle, right? But you seem pretty up to date," John asked. "Doves," answered Nathaniel. "They drop by every once in a while." John finally asked the angel about whether he was really an angel or not. The answer was very elaborate -- Nathaniel was apparently very proud of the time before he fell. He explained what it is like to be in Heaven and in presence of God. It all sounded like some fantasy novel to John, but even then, it was the most interesting fantasy novel. Perhaps because it was being told in person, and by a very excited character? "Hey, Nathaniel, I hope you don't mind me asking, but..." John considered the true worth of bringing this up. "Why did you fall"? "Um. How do I put this?" Nathaniel pondered for a second or so. "I wanted to explore the world that God made more closely." "That's it?" "I accidentally ended the dinosaurs." "Oh." Nathaniel asked if John liked to travel. John didn't, so he said no. When it was apparent that Nathaniel was disappointed (perhaps he wanted to hear travel stories), John explained that he wasn't a very adventurous person. He has never done anything out of ordinary in his life and he has grown too comfortable with it. Travelling explicitly means leaving one's comfort zone. John could never do that. "But you came here," wondered Nathaniel. "You are right." "Maybe this could be a first step." "I'll think about it." And then it was morning. ... John promised to return soon when he left Nathaniel this time. He meant it -- after all, this might be a good way to break out of his routine. Furthermore, Nathaniel so badly wants to travel and explore but can't. To linger in the comfort zone forever would be an insult to a good friend. And so John quit his office job and began to travel around the world, for a few years. First, he went to India. Then Tibet, followed by Maghreb. He went to Europe, but did not go to Britain. Hungary was very enjoyable, even though he ran out of money there. John washed dishes and kicked people out of clubs for a few months -- he met many interesting people doing so. Once he's gathered enough money, he hopped on a boat back to America. Over the Atlantic, John finished his plans on walking across and around North America. ... "I brought you books." "I thought you died." "Can you read?" "You lied when you'd return soon." "Well." ... Back in his apartment, John tried to figure out his next course of action. He learned a lot in the last five years from all that travel and all that talk, he thought. Perhaps writing about the lessons might be a good idea. ... "I brought you books." "Ooh! Did you bring yours, too?" "What? Why would you need self-help books?" "I have a lot of time to improve myself." "You've been like that for a few billion years." "Well." ... Sixty years since meeting Nathaniel, John got mugged. "Give me all you got, bitch, or I'll blow up your head," the barrel of the gun said. John reached for his back pocket and produced an old, light brown notepad. Calmly, he handed it to the mugger, saying: "All I have is names and directions." The barrel dropped. The dumbfounded face behind it asked if John was fucking serious. John remembered the last wish. ... When John climbed the last dune to the marble circle, he noticed that Nathaniel brought someone for their monthly meeting. It was quite out of the ordinary, but no matter -- if a good friend wants to introduce him to them, then it must be good. "What's up?" The angel asked. "I got mugged," John answered. "Again?" John shrugged, as if at a loss for a proper response. "Well, this is the second time. At least that I remember." "Hm," Nathaniel reconsidered. "It feels like yesterday for me." "So..." John eyed the new guest. "Ah, yes." The big snake encircled the little snake and tightened in, probably affectionately. "This is my daughter, John. I want you to meet her." The words brought a smile to John's face. He leaned down to be closer to the child. "Hi. What's your name?" "Call me Sarai." "My name is John." Saying his, he offered his hand. "It's very nice to meet you." The girl extended her tail and gripped onto the index finger. Will do for a handshake. "Now that I've met such an adorable young girl," John mused, "I can't pull the lever in front of her anymore." "Speaking of which..." The unusual heaviness of Nathaniel's voice made John uncomfortable, and maybe a little queasy. "Before that happens, old friend. Could you grant me a wish this time?" ... First, they were going to ride across Canada and America. After that they will head down south, driving around South America by the Pacific and the Atlantic. It would be very nice if they could head to the Amazon, too, but it was doubtful that it had accommodations for an RV. Sarai sat on John's right shoulder as they traveled. She would be so excited to see anything that isn't made of sand and rocks. It reminded John of himself back long ago, when he first came to the desert. It was so different. It might have been meaningless to someone who has always been there, but to outsiders, it's exotic and special. Perhaps this is why Nathaniel is so curious about the world -- he is an outsider to all but the tiny little circle in the desert. Everything is exotic and special to him. The best he could do for him was to show the world to his child. When they have seen every thing there is to see in this world, Sarai will go home and tell her father all about it. Nathaniel might not be able to leave until the day he dies, but at least he would have explored the world vicariously. Little satisfactions. ... "Hey, John, what should we tell him first about?" Sarai asked John, on their way to the desert. "I don't know, Sarai. What was the most fun for you?" "Mmm." The girl pondered. "I liked the mountains. They were like the dunes, except really big and really tall." "Which mountains? We saw many of them, didn't we?" "Ehhh. I can't remember them all." It's been six months since Nathaniel asked John to show Sarai the world. Before leaving for Africa, she wanted to see her father again. John agreed -- it might be years they might be spending there, this time. Furthermore, he couldn't wait for his third wish. The road and the desert seemed different this time. Almost... like the first time. Sense of excitement and wonder. Was it because they couldn't wait to share their experience with Nathaniel? In any case, they had to see him as quickly as possible. The RV crawled up the dunes rather slowly. It seemed to do so well everywhere else... But this was the last time they will be riding this thing. On the other hand, it was somewhat nostalgic for John. The imbalance on the sand. The uncomfortable rocking. The loss of control. The loss of control. "DADDY!!!" The moment she spotted him down the dune, Sarai screamed from John's shoulder. He must have pressed either the brake or the gas pedal too hard. The wheels spun out of control in the sand. The weight of the RV slowly dragged it down the slope, gradually but surely accelerating as it goes. John tried to regain control, but it seemed too late. And it was heading right onto the circle. Nathaniel had already uncoiled himself from the lever, to see what's going on with the RV sliding down the dune. And then he realized -- it is John who is driving that thing... and it is in crash course with the switch that will end the world. John noticed the very large snake bunch up between the falling vehicle and the switch. At the rate it's going, the RV will hit Nathaniel and flip. That surely would kill Nathaniel, but the alternative is the lever behind him. But can John live with himself after killing his oldest friend like this? If he can't live with that, then maybe it's better to swerve, so the lever instead of Nathaniel will be hit. Either way, John's world will have come to end. And to think that John's last wish was for Nathaniel to be free from his duty so he can explore the world with them. A mere second before impact. John had to choose. "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER."