🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

Hey world. Can we talk about mustard? We've all been there. You get home from the sandwich shop, you open the bag, and... wet. Why is it this wet? Your hands are yellow. You pull an oozing slab of food out of the paper sack. Both sides of the bread have been painted. Every ingredient, every sliver of lettuce or onion, is a bright turmeric yellow. The smell overpowers you, and you pass out, hitting the floor hard. As you lie passively, unmoving, the vinegar-rich abomination hits the floor. There's no hope for the carpeting, and pretty soon, the tangy putrescence is chewing through the floorboards. Your downstairs neighbors hear a sizzling, then a crash as a slimy half-pound demon crashes though their ceiling. They call the police, but by the time help arrives, your sandwich has dissolved their tile floor and eaten through concrete. It's in the sewers. It's in the water pipes. Everything is yellow, yellow forever. Soon the sandwich will reach hell itself and awaken the slumbering condiment titan, the one they call Legion. What I'm saying is, maybe we could put a little bit less mustard on deli sandwiches! An edible amount, is about the amount I'd shoot for.