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When Women Complain About Sex **How To Please A Woman** * Warm her up first. She's not a lawn mower that you can just turn on and off with the push of a lever. * Touch her gently - she's a delicate flower. * But not too gently - she wants a confident man, not a timid boy. * Give her a masculine squeeze. * But not too hard, you'll hurt her. * After a while, she'll be warmed up. This can take anywhere from 30 sec. to 15 min., depending on the woman and the situation. * Read her mind to determine when she's ready. * Now you can move your fingers down south. * But some women don't like that, in which case you should use your tongue instead. * But this maneuver might make her terribly self-conscious, in which case you'll ruin everything. * Read her mind to determine which course of action to pursue. * Now, if using your fingers, read her mind to determine how many fingers to utilize. * The preferred number is different for each woman, though getting this wrong can be catastrophic. * Gently caress her. * But don't be too gentle, you'll bore her. * But don't be too rough, you'll hurt her. * Alternate clitoral caressing and penetration with a frequency determined by Schrodinger in the 1942 Vienna experiments. * If using your tongue, follow the above steps with the obvious alterations. * Eventually, she'll be sufficiently lubed for you to penetrate her with your penis. * When penetrating her, start with gentle, slow thrusts. * But not too gentle and slow. Remember, a woman isn't stimulated as easily as is a man. * Generate some significant friction. * But not too much friction. This isn't a porno, and you don't need a hospital bill. * Gradually increase your frequency of thrusting. * Read your woman's mind to determine the preferred acceleration. Remember, this is rocket science. * Magically bend your penis upward at a 45 degree angle to stimulate the G spot. * IMPORTANT: Do not finish before her. This means that you'll have to enjoy the stimulation as little as possible until she's climaxed. * You'll find that, if you're good at this, you will be able to essentially numb your own pelvic sensations. * After she's climaxed, and now that you're good and numb to the sensations, you'll have to (by some physiological miracle) enjoy the stimulation again so as to finish yourself. * You must finish. Remember, if she doesn't climax, it's your fault, and if you don't climax, it's your fault. **How To Please A Man** * Touch his dick.
"Diane-marie Vinni" Permalink