🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

Anything can happen at a ska show A few weeks ago, my band was opening for a slightly more famous band at a moderately large local venue. This was one of the biggest gigs we'd had yet, and so I was seriously stressing about it beforehand, even though our sax player kept telling me not to. "Relax, you've been playing keyboards all your life, even when you fuck up you sound good." Yeah, thanks, way to boost my confidence. Our set went pretty well, we opened and closed with covers of Reel Big Fish and Suburban Legends songs and filled the middle bit with originals, got everybody primed for the headliners, and we made a fair margin off our merch table, so I decided I'd hit up the bar and reward myself with a bit of liquid courage. I found myself sitting next to a gorgeous woman I'd never seen before. A few drinks in and I found myself mesmerized by her eyes: one was a very bright blue, similar to mine, but the other one was a vibrant, almost neon violet. I struck up a light conversation with her, and things were going well, until she suddenly unleashed the loudest, most violent sneeze I've ever seen, and her violet eye flew out. With my catlike reflexes and keyboardist dexterity, I reached out and snatched it out of the air, then handed it back to her. "Thanks," she said. "I should have mentioned I've got a glass eye." "No worries," I said to her. "It's a great color." She seemed to warm up to me a lot after that, probably in part thanks to her continued alcohol intake, and when the headlining band finished up their set, I offered to give her a lift home. "Actually," she said, slurring a little and putting one hand up around my shoulders, "how about you give me a lift back to your place? That sound good?" I could see where this was going, and I'd always wanted to bend a girl over a grand piano, so I agreed. She was into it, let me tell ya. We got into my apartment and spent half the night having some of the best sex I have ever experienced before we finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion at about 4:00 AM. I woke up shortly after noon the next day to hear bacon sizzling on the stove. I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the kitchen where I found her preparing bacon and pancakes for breakfast. "Will you marry me?" I mumbled. She laughed. "I'll have to think about it," she said, with a wink. "Why did you decide to stick around, anyway?" I said. "You would have been well within your rights to just take off in the middle of the night and just never see me again. What made you stay?" "I dunno," she said, hands on her hips. "I suppose you just sort of... ...caught my eye."