🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

A guy dies and goes to Hell And Satan comes up to him and says, "Hey, welcome to Hell! Let me show you around - now just to let you know we have a very strict schedule around here and I'm going to explain it to you. It's really not so bad down here, all the burning in hellfire stuff is just propaganda. Each day is devoted to indulging in various decadent activities. Let me ask you, in life, were you a drinking man?" The guy says, "Well yes, in fact I drank nearly every day until the day I died." Satan says, "Good! You're gonna like Mondays. On Monday, all we do is sit around and drink alcohol, all day. We have every kind of hard alcohol imaginable, hundreds of Whiskeys, Vodkas, Rums, Scotches, Tequila, mixed drinks, wines, craft beers, even crappy cheap alcohol. We drink all day - the best part is, no hangover! You never get sick from drinking too much in Hell, it's great." The guy is starting to think that Hell is not so bad. Satan says, "So, were you a smoking man in life?" "Sure was, I pretty much smoked until the day I died" "Good. You'll like Tuesdays, on Tuesday all we do is sit around and smoke. Cigarettes and cigars of every kind, we smoke hookah, we smoke whatever, all day long and the best part is you can never smoke too much in Hell, you don't get cancer and you don't get sick." Satan asks again, "So, did you use drugs while you were alive?" The guy says, "Actually, I used drugs almost every day." Satan goes on again, "Well you're in luck, you will love Wednesdays, because on Wednesday we do drugs all day. In Hell, we have every drug imaginable -uppers, downers, hallucinogens, and only the highest quality, and we sit around and do lots of drugs all day! Best part is, no overdose and no addiction in Hell." By this point, the guy is starting to think that Hell sounds like a place he could get used to. Then Satan asks him, in a quieter voice, "By chance, in life were you a homosexual?" The guys responds "No way, never, I'm as straight as it gets" Satan grimaces and tells him "Sorry, I don't think you're gonna like Thursdays very much."