🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

The ballad of Awful Ed A British man was tending a bar in the wild west Americas of 1867. He hadn't owned the bar long, but for the most part it was quiet in the town where he did his business. One day, a cowboy in a panic ran into the bar screaming "Everybody run for your lives! Awful Ed is coming to town!!!". Almost instantly panic ensued and everyone in the bar rushed out or hid somewhere in the bar. The British bartender had never heard of the man, but due to the nature of how everyone else had reacted, this was not a man to be trifled with. However in his escape, he slipped on a bottle someone had knocked over in the panic and fell to the ground, knocking him out cold. When he came to, he found the bar to be empty and the town dead silent, he began to try to find a hiding spot when he suddenly heard the bar doors open, and he made the terrible mistake of turning to see who it was. The man that stood at the door was gigantic and muscle bound in every way. Scars adorned his forearms and face, particularly one scar across his eye which was a milky white. Every step the man took seemed to cause demons to give him space. But the one thing the bartender noticed and could not tear his own eyes away from was a necklace with small round knuckle bones, quite possibly human bones. Frozen where he stood behind the bar, the bartender could barely keep himself together as the outlaw walked to the bar and took a seat. After a moment the British bartender asks "W...w...what'll it be?" The outlaw, never meeting his eyes with the bartender says with a voice Satan would cower from "I'll have the scotch, just give me the bottle." Fearing what this man could do him, the bartender quickly grabs the scotch from the top shelf and hands it to the outlaw, who then takes the bottle, bites the neck off of it and drinks the contents. The outlaw places the remains of the scotch on the table, gives a demon possessed "Thanks" and heads for the door. The bartender, then meekly says "Ww...ww...will that be all sir?" The scared outlaw turns back and says "Nah. Besides, I'd be a damned fool if I were still in town when Awful Ed gets here."