🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

The Head Teacher Once there was this fantastic head teacher, let's call him... Mr Johnson. He had single-handily turned around the fortunes of three failing schools in his city with his tight intelligent financial control, understanding of the school's inherent needs, and great relationships with all staff/pupils. Recently he had accepted a job at the largest, most run down, violent school in the area. It was full of underprivileged children who were taking their poor upbringings and cynical views on the world to school every morning. No staff wanted to be there, no pupil felt safe there. Bullying, drugs, it truly was a mess. However, over time, Mr Johnson began to work his patented magic. Within a year the school's fortunes were turning around. Bad behaviour was dropping, students were learning to believe in themselves, staff were actually enjoying teaching these students who were all becoming willing learners. Violence stopped, the drugs supply stopped, bullying stopped, students were actually happy. As time passed, the school began to churn out successful alumni. Lots went on to college thanks to the ambitions installed in them by one understanding, knowledgeable headmaster. Students when asked about Mr Johnson would often describe him as a friend, but also an interesting teacher who they wanted to listen to every time he spoke. The schools facilities were upgraded to become state of the art thanks to Mr Johnson's financial control, and parents began fighting over getting their children accepted in to it when they were old enough to go rather then fighting to stop it! But one day as Mr Johnson was strolling down the corridors exchanging pleasantries with students and staff he was accosted by a tearful young boy named little Timmy. Timmy Announced: "Mister Johnson! My Dad is always angry at my Mum. He says she can never do anything right. He says she is a worthless wife and she could never satisfy him, he says he should cheated on her or leave her!" "Oh dear..." replied Mr Johnson. "I'm so sorry to hear that Timmy, but in domestic affairs like this I have no control. Unless your parents are violent or bad towards you, I can do nothing but offer you my emotional support" "Right..." Timmy sniffed. And with that, he was gone. Mr Johnson didn't hear from Timmy again, he noticed the boy was sad, but on close inspection he couldn't see any signs of abuse. What could he do unless the parents came to him? Mr Johnson had an idea. A few weeks passed and it was parent's evening at the school, where parents come in to meet the teachers. Mr Johnson had organised it and it was going really well. He had arranged to meet Timmy's parents so he had an excuse to fix things. But to his dismay, things had escalated before he got the chance - As he passed through the main school hall were teachers, parents and their children were all happily conversing a loud scream echoed down the hall - it was Timmy's Dad. Timmy's Dad was causing an enormous scene, shouting at Timmm's Mum. "*You are worthless! You can't do anything right! You can't satisfy me! I should CHEAT on you or LEAVE you*!!" It even looked like Timmy's Dad may be threatening to throw a punch. Timmy's mother was just standing cowering there in tears, as was poor little Timmy. Mr Johnson rushed up to them and proclaimed "YOU TWO! Come with me! Now!" The crowd which had formed watched the three walk off into a nearby walk-in cloakroom, leaving Timmy standing in the main hall. One parent went to comfort the boy. Everything fell silent, then a few minutes passed and some of the crowd began to dissipate. All of a sudden Mr Johnson and Timmy's parents emerged from the cloakroom. Timmy's Dad was wearing a wide, ear to ear smile like the cat that got the cream. His wife was tucked under his arm beaming with shy, cheeky, happiness at the floor. "Come on Timmy, we're leaving!" Announced his father triumphantly, and off they went. The parent who had been looking after Timmy when they were gone picked up her jaw from the floor, turned to Mr Johnson in amazement and asked: "Wait, he said she was worthless; she couldn't do anything right; she couldn't satisfy him; he should *cheat* on her or *LEAVE* her!! How on earth did you fix *that*?! Mr Johnson coolly replied: "I'm just a really great head-teacher"