🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

Important Holiday news alert!!! We have just received word from a credible source who wishes to stay anonymous that Santa's reindeer are threatening to strike! Apparently the teamsters have dog-sledded their way to the north pole and are unionizing Santa's helpers! From what can be gleaned, despite conflicting reports coming from Santa Inc.(which is to be expected given the extensive and established control the state has over the arctic media), the reindeer are upset with a claus in their contract preventing arbitration and recourse in the event of unsatisfactory work conditions, which according to my source has been an ongoing problem for some years. "Poor leadership and unsatisfactory work conditions have created an environment of mistrust and the resulting reluctance of Santa's reindeer to complete their tasks this holiday season seriously threatens Christmas" says Yuself Tinse, head reindeer keeper and sitting president of the newly formed UNPW(Union of North Pole Workers). Apparently Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(Comrade Rudolph as he likes to style himself) has been not informing the other reindeer when he's applying the brakes, turning all the others into brown-nosed reindeer. "This sort of immature power play has no place at the headquarters of Christmas and the powers that be don't seem to care", says Prancer, one of the reindeer to suffer most heavily from this brown stain on the Christmas spirit. There's also been rumors of talks going on regarding a weight limit for each reindeer to shoulder, calling into question the issue of the unfettered milk and cookie consumption of one who we won't name here(I certainly don't want any coal in MY stocking). A request for comment to Santa Inc. from The Onion has been met with a coal response. Updates regarding this ongoing issue will be issued as they become available.