🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

Some God Awful OC Bartender Jokes Give it to me straight, I need the feed back ______ A doctor walks into a bar. He appears to be exhausted; his hair is disheveled, his face is drawn. Bartender asks “rough day?” The doctor sits at the bar and says “its flu season, give me a shot.” ______ An elderly man walks into a bar holding hands with a beautiful young woman. He is obviously a man of great wealth, as his watch is decked in diamonds and his suit is of Italian make. As the pair sits down, the bartender says “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t serve minors here,” nodding towards the woman. The man retorts “Now hold on just a minute. How would you know if she’s a minor? You haven’t even asked for her ID!” The bartender shrugs and says “she’s clearly a gold digger.” ______ A large block of ice walks into a bar and places his order. “I’ll take a whisky on the rocks, but don’t serve my kids.” ______ The bartender walks into a doctor’s office and says “same punch line, different context.” … ______ Two nuns walk into a bar. The first is elderly, and seems to be fully devout. The other is young, blonde, and appears to be new to the convent. “Bartender,” says the elderly nun, “I was wondering if you could settle a little dispute for us. You see, my trainee believes that true holiness can be achieved in a matter of days, rather than with the years on end that I’ve been practicing. One year out of catholic school, and she thinks that she is as holy as me!” “I’ll tell you what,” replies the bartender, “both of your write down your arguments, and I’ll decide who among you is most holy.” The sisters begin to write their cases. The elder nun finishes first, and slides her paper toward the bartender. At this point, the blonde sister has pulled out a calculator, and starts to plug away at the buttons. The bartender reads the first paper aloud. “‘Everyday, for the last 40 years, I’ve woken at dawn for morning prayer. I prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the entire convent, while using any spare hours for reading the texts and scripture. In case that isn’t holy enough, I volunteer on the weekends.’ Good gracious, sister!” Says the bartender, “this is quite exemplary.” By now, the young nun has finished and has passed her paper to the bartender. “All this says is πr^2, r=2… Hold on, is this an equation for the area of a circle?!” exclaims the bartender. “Oh, sorry,” says the blonde, blushing. “It was supposed to be circumference.” ______ A bartender has been going through a financial rough patch, and hoped that his wife would accommodate for the tough times by letting him try anal. Now, the wife resents her husband, and was appalled by his audacity to ask for such a thing with their marriage on the fritz. She denies his request. Later in the week, a man walks into the bar and asks the bartender for a prostitute. The bartender is about to send the man on his way, when he gets an idea that would make him some money while simultaneously punishing his wife. “You see that woman in the corner?” He asks, “Well, she’s one of the best girls we got. You go over to her and take her into the private room. You can do whatever you want with her, no matter how much she resists. It’s all part of the act. After you’re through, come back here and pay full price, $2000.” The man nods his head excitedly in agreement and walks toward the wife. The bartender watches from afar as the two exchange a few quick words. All of a sudden, he sees the man grab his wife by the arm and pull her into the private room. The bartender smiles inwardly to himself and thinks “Ha! That’ll teach the bitch to appreciate me. Plus, I’m making a small fortune!” After about twenty minutes, the wife comes out, alone. She heads over to the bartender with a slight limp. “Where’s your new friend?” asks the bartender, smiling. “He owes me a little money.” The wife snickers, pulls her husband in close and whispers in his ear “I let him use the back door,” and walks away. ______ A man walks into a bar and the bartender says “NO. STOP. GET OUT OF HERE, THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANY MORE.”