🤪J🤪KES

Here's your hilarious joke:

A man buys a talking parrot. Once a man was feeling lonely and wanted to get a pet. He didnt want a fish or a cat or a dog. He wanted something to talk to. He wants one of those neat talking birds he heard about. He sets out for the pet store. Our man arrives at a pet store who specializes in birds. After browsing he steps up to the owner of the store, "Excuse me, ma'am. I... I was wondering if y'all had any of those neat talking birds I heard so much about?" Owner says, "yeah. Theyre a hot ticket right now. I have one left. Hes a beautiful bird, a bit shy but boy does he love to sing. tv jingles, dean martin songs, elvis, you name it." "Oh boy! How much is he?" "Well, with the cage, he's 400 dollars. Trust me, we have the best places in town." She replies. After some quick thought he pulled out his credit card and let her swipe it. Took the bird home, even named him Elvis because, well, he wasnt very creative. The bird did have sort of a stylish hairdoo. Once he gets the bird set up in the living room he stands by the cage trying to get Elvis to talk. to no avail. The bird just stares at him. Turning his head from side to side as the man says the things he thinks the bird wants to hear. This goes on for a day. He gets angry and takes the bird back to the store. "Ma'am I'm sorry i have to return this bird. It refuses to talk." The owner replies, "well, did you buy the little ladder?" "The little ladder." Says our man. "Yeah the little ladder," the store owner replies, "you buy the little ladder and he climbs up to the top of it and he feels like hes on top of the world and it makes him want to sing. The little ladder is necessary. He loves the little ladder" The man, now feeling ignorant, says "okay ill take it" "30 bucks" He pays and leaves At home the bird is happy to have the little ladder, he loves the little ladder. Hes climbing up and down the little ladder. But hes still not saying a,word. The next morning the bird is still scilent and the man is back at the store "look this bird is not gonna talk. I want my money back." "Sorry no refunds. Also, i notice you dont have the little bell in your cage. You buy a little bell for the top of your little ladder and the bird rings the little bell and then he knows what key to sing in for you. He wouldnt want to be flat. Without the little bell the little ladder is useless." Said the owner. "How much?" "$47.99" He reluctantly pays and returns home. This bird is just climbing the little ladder and ringing the bell but not singing a single note. Up, *ding*, down. Up. *ding.* down. Last time. Hes at the store. Trying to contain his frustration he says, "why isnt this bird talking. I paid for a talking bird and it doesnt talk. I bought the little ladder, the little bell and he still wont talk to me." "Sir, please reamin calm. This will all be fine. You just need a little mirror." "A LITTLE MIRROR?" "Yes sir, he climbs the little ladder, rings the little bell, looks in the mirror and thinks *'oh thats a good lookinf bird'* and stars to serenade its new friend. I know youre upset so ill give you 25% off this mirror, it will only be 75 dollars." At this point the man is desperate and will do anything to get this damn bird to talk. He buys the damn mirror and leaves. He gets home and sets the little mirror up next to the little bell at the top of the little ladder. "Okay bird, *Elvis*, say something. Say anything. Talk. To. Me." Elvis climbs the little ladder. Rings the little bell. Looks in the little mirror long and hard just before he collapses to the cage floor. Elvis locks eyes with the man and says "hey, they have a little bird seed at that store?" And dies. Holy shit im so sorry.